We are so lucky to be on your plan!
The anniversaries in my life are a mix of celebrations and contemplations battling against each other for days on the calendar that I count down towards in both expectation and apprehension.
Stable scans are a win, but they’re a hard win. Scanxiety has entered the chat.
Arya’s “Not Today,” implies fighting and strength. It is a call not only in direct defiance to the gods of death, but to the gods of chaos and crisis. There is nothing passive about it.
I posted the video of Binny’s speech that he gave at the Team Lifeline Pasta Party on his Facebook page, but the sound quality was poor and people asked for copies of the speech. So with Binny’s permission, I am posting it here. I edited it a bit to include some of the lines he ad-libbed (though some I know I missed), but this is all his.
Everyone loves looking at the underside of the stingrays. They have those goofy grins. They look like they’re gently smiling at the world, happily floating along the water. But they always look like that. Their faces are frozen in place like Wybie in Coraline. They look like that all the time. After all, the stingray that killed Steve Irwin was also smiling.
Sometimes you need a lot of strength just to have a celebration. I’m not just talking about the strength to label 250 seating cards and design shirts and shlep boxes. I’m talking about the strength to decide to celebrate even when you sometimes don’t want to.
I glanced at my phone and watched as the date changed from May 6th to May 7th and realized, it’s four years later and I am in a hospital, waiting again.
I went back and forth between absolute calm to abject panic to crushing depression and then back to the warm blanket of denial.
I finally understood the myth of Sisyphus when my son was diagnosed with a brain tumor two years ago. And like the legend, we were faced with a huge mountain, a massive, incomprehensible rock, and a job that no one would ever sign up for.